An Open Letter ToThe Person Who Needs This Most

Dear Person,

Life is hard. I would be lying if I said otherwise. You haven’t been dealt a fair hand. You always are expected to give up your dreams for others and it’s not fair. I wish I could storm in as a fair god mother and poof you away from everything, alas I cannot. But what I can do is be here for you always. You are by far one of the strongest people I know, even if you don’t feel It. You carry so much on your shoulders, it doesn’t go unnoticed. You are always the first one to drop everything and come running to the rescue, even when you are the one in need of rescuing. I know it’s hard to remember to take time for yourself, so I remember for you. You are so brave, strong, and courageous. It’s ok to feel like you are falling apart, sometimes you need to, all that matters is that someone is there to hold you together, and you know I always will be. I am not going to pretend to understand everything you are dealing with, I’m not going to pretend that nothing is happening, I’m not going to sit here and tell you to get over it. I am going to listen to you, I am going to be there for you, I am going to help you figure out a way to fix it. You are not alone. You always have me. This letter isn’t meant to try to fix anything. It’s meant to show you that you cannot give up. We have too many people counting on us. We have to prove all the haters wrong. We have to fight and finish what we started and we will be victorious. I know you are thinking I am crazy, in reality I am kinda crazy. But you are crazy too. You chose to have a friend like me, and when you did that, you chose to never be alone. I’ll always have your back. You are the most fabulous boss ass bitch I know! Now get up, fix your make-up and make the best out of the situation. Throw some glitter on that shit and make it sparkle! ūüėČ

An Open Letter To The Man That Pieced Me Together Again

Dear Person,

I am broken. But unlike Humpty Dumpty, you were able to piece me together again. I am amazed at how I love you so. When we first met, I was infatuated. I was so infatuated, I was scared.. I was scared that if I loved you, you would break me too. In the past, I am always the one to get broken. But I trusted you. I had to teach myself to love you. I was so scared when I realized that you would be my future. You always had open arms when I came running back. The first time we broke apart, you needed to grow up, I’m putting it bluntly. The second time I parted from you, I needed to grow up. Then, the third time was the charm, we got married and it is happily ever after. But I don’t think you realize how much I adore you. My first love had so royally screwed me up, that I swore I would never love someone as much as him, in a way I was right, because I love you so much more than that. Looking back, I realize that he was just another frog I had to kiss to get to my prince. I know, cheesy, right? But it is so true. You never left my side no matter how nasty things got. No we don’t always get along. No I don’t always like you. But I always love you! No couple is perfect, but we are pretty close. We are more than just husband and wife, You are my very best friend. As much as you may not realize it. Every night at bedtime, its like a slumber party. We laugh, play and cut up. I’m sure our neighbors are tired of hearing my squealing and laugher. You are my person. Words can never describe how much you mean to me. You are the first person I want when anything is wrong. You never seem to be disappointed in me. You make marriage easy. You are my best friend in the entire world. You know everything. You saved me from myself. You never leave my side. When I look back, I realize just how lucky I am. I am so excited for the years to come. Thank you for piecing me back together again. I know that at the end of the day no matter what, I always have you to fall back¬†on. You love me unconditionally and you keep me grounded. You¬†are just so simply amazing! I am so lucky to have you! ¬†I love you to the stars and back.

An Open Letter To The Man That Never Showed Up

Dear Person,

This is a tough one for me. Although here I am at 20, you finally showed up for me. But to your mistake, it’s a little too late. When I was five you walked out of my life. Well, I guess you cannot say walked out, you would grace me with your presence when you felt it was beneficial to you. You used me as a pawn in your sick game of life. Yes, I have some built up anger towards you. Yes, you are here “here” now, but you really aren’t even here! A real father calls their child, my number has never changed, you have always had it. Are you too ashamed of yourself to contact me? You will shoot me a text saying, “I love you, Have a good day.” But actions speak louder than a text message… There were a few times, you “showed up” to save the day, ,when I was left on the side of the interstate, but after that you crawled back into your world, leaving me out of it. You come and go as you please, like a small child on a summers day in and out of the house, until one day I will have enough. I will lock out you until dark falls and you beg to come back in, but it will be too late. But who am I kidding, I will never lock you out, as much as I try to inch and creep away from you, any ounce of attention you throw my way has me pleading for more. I am tired of you playing the victim, remember I screamed that at you while I had a brick in my hand, I threw it at you in hopes that I would somehow feel better, but I was the crazy one… I know I should forgive and forget, but somehow I cant. I like to say I have forgiven you, but deep down, I know I haven’t, because you will never learn. I will never forget, all those school functions that you missed, all the birthdays you called a couple days late, all those important moments in my life that you never even asked me about. I will never forget. You always left me wondering why you would never show up, what did I ever do to make you hate me so much, was it because you were bound to my mother financially until I aged out of her home, which was a rare occasion when we did get financial support. But paying a check every couple months isn’t what makes you a father. You like to blame my mother for your lack of relations with me, you blame me for being crazy, you blame everyone but yourself. Why would you not show up for me? Yes, my mother put you in jail a few times, but if you were acting like an idiot she would have never needed to call the cops on you in the first place. There were so many nights when I would cry to myself alone wondering why I was never good enough for you. Why would you always choose your new family over me. Not that any of this is their fault, it isn’t. You are a grown man that always put your children on the back burner, even when you didn’t have a second family to tend to. When you were alone, depressed, suicidal, I still always showed up for you! But you never showed up and stayed for me. You got so angry when I told you my brothers were giving me away, you called every day the week I told you, an you never realized, you got what you deserved. A father doesn’t come into a child’s life when it is convenient for him. A father remembers your birthday, knows your favorite color, food, what your dreams and goals are.¬†In case you didn’t know, February 10, red, Gumbo, and one day I want to¬†be a mother and never¬†have to tell my children that their daddy¬†didn’t know how to be a daddy. Yes¬†I am angry with you, but deep down, and I sometimes question it, I still¬†love you. Somehow I always managed to show up and stay, but you are so comfortable with showing up and walking away.

An Open Letter To My Mom

Dear Mom,

Thank you. Thank you for teaching me how to take control and make things happen. Thank you for showing me that no matter how bad the situation is, you have to keep going. Thank you for raising my brothers and me to be respectful, successful, people. Thank you for doing everything by yourself. You raised 3 children in a nice house and we never went without. You taught me what a parent should be. You taught me that growing up means sacrifice after sacrifice, especially when it comes to your children. Mom, thank you for never giving up on us. Thank you for teaching me that as a woman, I never need to depend on a man. Yes, you instilled this in me, but what I don’t think you realize is, I learned how to change a door knob by watching you. I learned how to strip wood and re-stain it by watching you. I learned how to hold my head up and keep pushing forward by watching you. I learned how to make things happen by never taking no for an answer by watching you. I don’t think you realize how much you have taught me by my simply watching. All those times I called you crazy for whatever project you were working on, I was really saying, “Wow, my mom is an amazing person.” Thank you for being both mom and dad when ours decided he wanted¬†other things in life.¬†Thank you for holding me together when you were falling apart. Thank you for teaching me that in order to grow, you have to go through the ups and downs in life and the truly great rise from nothing. Thank you for allowing me to make my own mistakes, but never going far enough away to stop me if I was about to royally screw up. Thank you for loving me, even when I was being a spoiled brat. Thank you for teaching me how to care for others who have less than I do, for teaching me, no matter how much I have, I should still be humble, that no matter how little I have, I should still give back. Thank you for never letting me down, even when you felt like you had. I know we have had our differences, but at the end of the day, you are the one who stood by my side, even when you knew I was wrong, even if you didn’t agree, even if you knew I was about to mess up. Thank you for being the amazing person you are, even if I don’t show it or tell you often, Thanks Mom.

An Open Letter To The Guy Who Broke My Heart

Dear Person,

Its been approximately 5 years since I last saw you. You shattered my heart. But somehow I still love you. Please don’t let that get to your head. It’s not the type of love you are probably hoping for. Let’s get some stuff straight, I left you, yes, but you drove me to it. You pushed me and pushed me away until I finally broke. I cried more nights than I smiled. I cried because they said long distance didn’t work, I was determined to prove them wrong, you on the other hand, were not as willing as I was. Yes, I smothered you, I threw myself to you, because since the 4th grade I knew I loved you and you never gave me the time of day. So when I finally had your attention, I went a little crazy. But I loved you, I whole heartedly loved you. I was planning college around you.¬†I was prepared to move 309 miles to be with you. I was willing to sacrifice¬†and leave everything behind for you. But¬†you¬†wouldn’t even give me the time of day.¬†For so long, I blamed myself for our relationship failing, but it wasn’t me, it was you.¬†You weren’t ready, you weren’t mature enough to handle it. Stupid me for thinking that I would marry you and be apart of your family, whom loved me so dearly, might I add. I just wanted to let you know, I do still love you. I will always love you. You were the “one that got away”. I only wished for so long that you¬†would love me just an ounce of what I loved you. The pain you caused me, by¬†breaking my heart, that pain caused me¬†to throw up my walls, the walls I broke down for you.¬†Because of you I felt like a failure. I felt that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t worthy, that I was useless, but in fact,¬†it was you that wasn’t worthy of me. It was you that wasn’t good enough for me. I went above and beyond for you. I would have murdered, lied, cheated, stole, whatever you needed me to do, just so you would not have to be without. I loved you with a love that only comes once in a life time. I am so sorry that I wasted it on you. I¬†do still love you. I keep repeating this in the letter because deep down, I will never be able to erase everything. I wish I could, but then again, I’m glad I cant… I¬†enjoy remembering the good times with you, how I had created¬†my own world with just you and me. I still love you. Let me explain, I love you, I am NOT in love with you. I love you now with a love that cant be replaced. I love you with a love of appreciation because with all the pain you caused me, you forced me to open my eyes and fall out of my fantasy I had painted around us. You threw me off my cloud 9. I care about you. I want you to be happy. I want you to have everything you have ever wanted. I want you to achieve every dream you ever had, I want you to succeed. I want you to love someone the way I loved you, and I hope that they don’t break you like you broke me. I hope they don’t force you to do the most heart breaking thing in the world. I hope they handle you so gently and they keep you safe, like I did. I hope you fall so incredibly in love that you can actually see yourself with them. I still love you.